(This is a re-post of my “Rock the Commandment” series of posts. I’ll be running these on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week as we lead up to Palm Sunday.)
The entertainment industry is one of flash and dazzle, glamour and publicity. The goal is to always look successful, no matter how bedraggled you really are.
Fifteen years ago or so, I saw a sharp contrast to this when I did some work in the Cayman Islands. There the culture was the complete opposite. With so many millions of dollars in wire transfers moving through over 200 banks, the bankers had learned one thing – the big talkers with all the flash were probably frauds, crooks or cheats and generally best avoided. The old guy combing the beach was more likely to be worth millions than they were (and not infrequently was).
Today, however, everybody wants us to look successful. Our resumes are supposed to be so full of accomplishments, that employers must wonder why we would ever work for them. Publishers want to see authors who have a “platform.” That is, is the ability to sell books without a publisher selling it for you. In short, publishers and employers want people who don’t need them. Employers want people who deign to work for them.
As a result, we’re becoming a nation of frauds, people who tell less than the whole truth, while exaggerating what we do tell – because we feel that we must. It is that or be left behind.
Why do I bring this up? Well, part of it is that creating a blog is part of “platform building.” It is a way of building an audience. Facebook and Twitter are part of this as well. And if you hang out in the social media long enough, you find people all living the idyllic life. They are great successes with their new post, the conference they just spoke to, the famous person they just had lunch with, the airport they are landing in now.
You never hear that they need a job.
You never hear that their occupation has tough spots, frustrating things they have to do, or that their careers may have stalled. Authors never discuss the fear of being forgotten by their publisher, or that their last title didn’t sell enough copies to meet expectations. The last quarter was never bad. Things are always great – even in the worst economy in 70 years.
I live in California’s Inland Empire. That’s the southeastern region of San Bernardino and Riverside counties, which is larger than most eastern states. The unemployment rate here is around 15 percent. Houses are vacant. Shops are vacant. Whole shopping centers have become deserted. And apparently none of those people tweet. Or, if they do, they put a positive spin on everything.
But there is a difference between keeping a positive outlook, and saying that everything is rosy.
Last year I noted that I wrote an award-winning spec script for a television series. I did not, I don’t believe, later note that the series was cancelled around the same time. No series, no sale, and people don’t pay for awards. This is a minor example.
Job seekers are out there by the millions, and we’re all putting on a successful face. Granted, many job seekers have been highly successful. I know a number of unemployed professionals right now. Those are the times in which we live. In fact – I’ll make an unpardonable admission – I’m one of them.
Yes, I’m a city arts commissioner and host of a radio show. But these are labors of love, not of profit. The night shift at the mini-mart would pay far better. So until my speaking and publishing careers bring in enough to cover the bills, I’m looking for something that does. (And who knows? I might even find something more rewarding.)
But it’s not the situation I expected when I began my master’s program. Things have changed. One prospective employer recently told me that two years ago I would have been golden. Two years ago. This time I left without an offer.
So, what does this have to do with the Tenth Commandment, or the Rock the Commandments series? One, of course, is to trust God through these things. Use difficult times as a way of growing in humility and in holiness. Do not grow angry at the world or with your spouse. Like Job, we need to praise God, and not give in to despair.
But how do we praise God when we don’t have anything left? Or if the future looks so bleak? Begin with the Tenth Commandment. It may seem counter-intuitive, but stick with me.
And if you really are successful, that next quarter is looking really great, the weather is wonderful where you just landed, or you have nothing better to do than hang out by the jaccuzzi – you might want to read this too. Because it ultimately does not matter which way your cash is flowing – God won’t ask you that on judgment day. But why you want it and how you spend it will be on the agenda.
What did God command?
You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his house, and neither shall you covet his field, nor his male servant, his female servant, his ox, his donkey, any of his cattle, or whatever belongs to your neighbor. (Ex. 20:17).
What we covet changes. If we’re doing well, it might be that fancy car or big television. Maybe a bigger house or a better spouse. If times are tough, we might envy a car that runs well, a phone that doesn’t ring with creditors or a mail box that no longer brings bad news. Maybe, again, we’ll want a better spouse (one that works, or one that isn’t critical that we’re not working).
Oh, how we let the stress get to us.
Consider:
+ Have I envied anything good that has come to others?
I just listed a few. It happens to us all the time – at least it does to me, and over the silliest things. Lord have mercy.
Have I been jealous of another’s good fortune?
Maybe somebody I know just got a good job, or a publishing offer or good representation (I know some amazing writers). You know the things that trip your jealous buttons, too.
+ Have I wished for anything that was another’s?
This can be possessions, activities, relationships, position, respect and many other things. Remember that even St. Paul did not receive all that he asked. God’s grace was sufficient for him – and it is sufficient for us as well.
+ Have I damaged or destroyed the property of others?
Well, if I can’t have it…
Is this not usually out of envy? And doesn’t that envy come from pride? We feel that we deserve better, therefore we rationalize all kinds of things. We need not commit acts of terror to be guilty here. You don’t even need to key somebody’s car. Little things count.
+ Have I wished for things God has not given me, or been discontented with my lot?
I’m always wishing for things God has not given me. The kind of work I think I deserve (note that “I” was two out of three words). The success I think my book and screenplays deserve. The calls for more speaking gigs. Or, a biggie for me, is the desire for a large room to use as a library for all my books. Want, want, want. Ouch.
Once we’ve talked ourselves into want, and into believing we somehow deserve what we want, we then compare our wants against what we have and become discouraged. We may even fall into despair and depression. I battled depression for many years. My most common complaint was “why aren’t things going my way?” And “my way” was always defined by my wants, not my desire to do God’s will in the situation He gave me – or that I fell into through my sin.
+ Have I been stingy?
Guilty as charged.
Carol’s son Anthony recently received orders to go to Afghanistan for a year. His wife and kids are now staying with us. Having them here requires a lot of adjustment, but is a delight as well.
As we were working out the logistics, and trying to get the kids enrolled in the local school before it filled up, a lot of ideas were floated. One was for Carol to use my newly awarded frequent flyer miles to go to Utah to get the right paperwork done. (I’ll spare you the details.)
I was aghast. It took me a long time to earn that ticket, and I was hoping to use it on something “important” like a writers conference. It was utter silliness. If there is a writers conference that I’m supposed to go to, God will get me there. In the end, the ticket wasn’t needed. But I sure made a fool of myself.
The good news? God showed me my weakness and my sin. These are great moments for repentance and for growing in humility and holiness.
+ Have I held back anything due another?
Money? Recognition? Belongings?
We often do this out of spite. Back when I used drama as a mode of discourse, I did this all the time. In preparing to write a memoir, I found a host of items that I had never returned. And the only reason I could remember for keeping any of them was anger. For some people, greed might be a motive. Either way, it doesn’t glorify God.
+ Have I hoped for the downfall of anyone so that I might gain by it?
Well, have you? Maybe you want a coworker fired. Or the star of an opposing team injured. Perhaps you merely fantasize about blasting that car in front of you out of the way. Many people enjoy thinking about the demise of an ex-wife or husband. That is not the way of the Lord, it’s just an easy path to go down.
My old temper – that deep well of anger I used to carry with me – took me down this path on a regular basis. And who got hurt? Mostly me. Those I was angry with got out of my path – and often out of my life.
+ Have I failed to be gracious and generous to anyone?
If you’re not the one people think of when the idea of generosity comes up – you’re probably not doing enough. All those opportunities to do more for those in need fly right by us. Sometimes we’re too busy judging if they really have need, or if they’re “worthy” of our help. Frankly, those questions are best left to God. If the panhandler is a fraud, that’s between the panhandler and God. But if the panhandler is an angel sent to test me, what is my defense?
Here’s a good example of being gracious and generous. I was working a government job not too long ago that required me to access a lot of people’s property. I drove past the gate on one property that had several residences on it. While I was at one residence, the property owners left the main house and locked the gate as they left. I was stuck. Even the local police wouldn’t help me out.
Fortunately, I have a neighbor with a pair of bolt cutters. He drove out to my back country location and helped to free me. That was gracious and generous. For my part, I got to repair the gate and replace the lock. And my wife, Carol, far more gracious than I am, baked the neighbor her famous chocolate cake.
+ Have I expected God to give me that which I would refuse one of my fellow men?
Ah, the evil and wicked servant who threw his fellow servant into prison for a small debt when he had just been forgiven a large one. But let’s not stop there.
It has been said that if you feel like you’re giving 60 percent in a relationship to the other person’s 40, odds are you’re near even. Why? Because we tend to be harder on other people and see our own sacrifices more. We expect to be forgiven more easily, our work recognized sooner, and so on. It’s part of our fallen nature.
We don’t have to throw people into prison to do this. But we do need to be attentive to our thoughts and deeds.
That’s the crux of it – we need to pay attention to our thoughts. That isn’t always easy (if ever). However, paying attention to our words and actions can lead us back to our thoughts. Why do we do what we do? Why did we say such and such? People ask us about those things, it’s good to have an answer.
It’s good also to remember that we have an enemy who whispers thoughts into our ears, hoping we will entertain them and make them our own. And we have a chatty enemy.
The ancient fathers of the church advise that we guard our thoughts. It is good advice. If we guard our thoughts, fast and pray, we can with God’s grace free ourselves of all covetousness.
So even if you don’t flash and glam like a Hollywood star, inflate your resume or tweet about how fabulously wonderful your (stressful and difficult) life is, there is probably room for improvement. After all, there is only one thing it is okay to be greedy for, and that is God. Do you have all of God? Or even all of God that you can handle? If not, press ahead.
Next week, I’ll have a few concluding thoughts on how the Ten Commandments sneak into our lives and how we can grow closer to God. Fortunately, that post will be short.
These prompts come from A Pocket Prayer Book for Orthodox Christians. The commentary is all mine. So if there is any error, it all belongs to me.
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